I always admire people who are not afraid to come out in the light and live their life fearlessly. The Naked Cowboy in Times Square playing his guitar and giving a smile in the busiest city in the world.
An exotic dancer at a Gentleman’s club showing off her skill, talent and her body knowing full well their relatives or friends could walk into the door at any time. They are honest and open about who they are and despite their inner fears they face it and deal with whatever the outcome.
Unfortunately, people of the Christian faith have a harder time dealing with being an honest people. Oh don’t get me wrong, their faith is strong and many don’t have a trouble getting dressed to head into church to worship God. But if there is any subject that causes even the truest of believer to cower into the corner its sex.
Sex keeps even the truest believer to find a good excuse to be somewhere else other than in the place where you are. Why? In many pulpits around the world it is taught that sex is wonderful when it is placed in the marital bed.
Sex outside of that (or any variance of “God’s design”) is an abomination in the eyes of God, so they say. Yet many a believer—myself included—find us in situations where we say one thing and do another.
This is the hypocrite’s tale. It is a tale of longing, wanting badly to be honest about what we are attracted to. Our love of everything sexual, and a desire to have a relationship where there are no secrets between our partners and ourselves is a dream that seems so far away.
Some in the church say that’s an oxymoron! I say this is not only attainable but something I think God supports in our lives. But if we are to get to that place of honesty there is one thing you and I need to say from the get go:
I LOVE SEX!
Say that three times to yourself or stand in the mirror and say it out loud. There, don’t you feel better now? I hope so. If we are to start on the road to honesty we need to say this to ourselves and admit we enjoy this great gift God created in us. So you like sex eh? Good. Now lets get down to the next phase of an honest life.
Here is a revelation that is going to shock the socks off of you. Baring any sexual abuse to children, animals, an adulterous affair, or other adults who are forced upon sexually you can enjoy pretty much anything else provided it doesn’t offend your conscious or the conscious of anyone else. God has given you the freedom to enjoy the wide range of sexuality. From masturbation to even (dare I say it) inviting others into your bedroom you don’t have to act in the shadows again.
I thought so too because for many years I lived in the shadows sexually gorging on anything erotic to whet my appetite while in public I denounced these very acts as wicked and wrong. The best way to describe it is like you gorge on mounds and mounds of sexual material and experiences as if you never had sex before.
Then you get so stuffed (sexually speaking) you go to church or to your own home and regurgitate all those experiences with promises of “I’ll be a better Christian Lord if you’ll help me never to do this again”. You’re then caught in a vicious cycle of craving for sex, getting filled behind the backs of everyone, regret, repenting and re-repenting to never do it again.
Sit back and look at what’s going on here. You are letting this cycle take control of you and one day it will destroy all the things that is good within your life.
Relationships with spouses, boyfriends and girlfriends are ruined because you can’t bring yourself to the truth you like sex. Take it from me you don’t have to beat yourself up for having a sexual thought.
Break the cycle. Learn to accept yourself not just as a spiritual being but also as a sexual one too with needs for intimacy and love. Accept yourself not as evil for touching yourself, for seeing bodies entwined in passion, or enjoying entwining yourself but as a normal person of God. Paul said it best in Romans: “Therefore do not let what is for you a good thing be spoken of as evil.” (Rom 14: 15).
Today is the day to stop living in the shadows and start living an honest life. It is sad the rest of the church is more worried about sex toys or whether a child sees a nipple and not enough time encouraging fellow sisters and brothers to enjoy their God given right to sex.
Determine today that this will be the time in your life you don’t have to be crushed by guilt and manufactured fear (fed by tradition and misinformation) and find out how much of sexuality you really can enjoy.
Written on Wednesday, February 27, 2008 by rappin
Sex, Religion, and Hypocrisy - Will Embracing Your Sexuality Offend God?
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26 Responses to "Sex, Religion, and Hypocrisy - Will Embracing Your Sexuality Offend God?"
February 27, 2008 12:16 PM
This man is teaching heresy. While the church struggles with it's sin and is guilty of being fake Christians, this false shepherd negates the Holy scriptures and has given his soul over to be controlled by his flesh!
1 Corinthians 6:9-10
Wake up and open your eyes! Israel, how long shall God strive and contend? Will you never receive His rebuke? Therefore the Lord has declared you a stubborn and obstinate generation.
(I am not speaking to the nation of Israel or to the Jews in particular, but to the "church")
February 27, 2008 2:57 PM
February 27, 2008 3:02 PM
Thank you a hundred times over for writing this article. It's a relief to know that there are Christians out there with some common sense who don't condemn the most basic human instinct as "sin".
February 27, 2008 3:03 PM
I agree with certain aspects but as far as acting out of a marriage to have sex with someone else its wrong. its called temptation. Your not lying to yourself and others about your sexuality. Its simply denying Satan to triumph over the world with acts of heinous sin. You talk as if because there is an urge to do so then you should because otherwise your a hypocrite and a liar. The truth is the devil tempts all which means we all have urges to do these things. Those that act on those sins especially without repentance or guilt I.E what your preaching will not be excepted by God into the kingdom. You talk as if you have reached some revelation within life but you are really so far from the shepard that you can't tell truth from lies. Marriage is an oath and a promise to God and if you can't uphold an earthly promise as serious as marriage how will he trust you behind his gates.
February 27, 2008 8:50 PM
No where in this article does it tell you to step out of your marriage to enjoy sex but rather it's telling you to embrace sex with your spouse within your marriage and get out of it what you need.
February 27, 2008 9:24 PM
To my somewhat blinded fellow commentors: do you not realize that aside from the lessons behind the stories in the Bible, everything else was written for the sake of the church? Take a Medieval History class and you'll realize that religion held all the power. The whole no sex before marriage thing is insurance of a source of income for the church. People want to have sex and they were always told it's a no-no before marriage so they'll pay to do it.
Christianity has moved so far away from Christ's basic message: Love thy neighbor, that it's no longer recognizable. Religion should be something between you and God.
Arbitrary rules have nothing to do with morality.
February 27, 2008 9:25 PM
You might want to read the verses that follow the one you quoted and note the contrast between the things of the flesh and the things of the spirit.
What you seem to be saying is that sexual relations between a husband and wife are essentially their own business, right?
Who is giving you argument over that? When you invite the others to join you, though, you step over the line into fornication. When you even look at another woman with longing ... and continue to do so ... you have stepped over the same line. A glance? Nope ... we men are wired for that (and the women are too, but they are sneakier about it). But to continue looking at a woman with desire was addressed directly in the Greek scriptures. And I don't see the sense of having others in attendance if you can't at least watch.
Do what you wish ... you seem determined to turn scriptures to your advantage. But; on your head be it.
Jane ... what happens WITHIN marriage is one thing, what happens outside of it is another. The same act within a marriage that leads to fulfillment of 'the marital due' is porneia (eg fornication) outside of matrimony.
Humans were doing this stuff millennia ago, at the time it was addressed in the scriptures. Nothing ... not the scriptures and not humans, has changed since then.
February 27, 2008 9:40 PM
It's great to read more open-minded views on sex. I had sex before I was married and I didn't turn into a degenerate heathen or anything.
Also, I think Jason may be a touch... unbalanced.
February 28, 2008 12:46 AM
Bill:
"What you seem to be saying is that sexual relations between a husband and wife are essentially their own business, right?
When you invite the others to join you, though, you step over the line into fornication. When you even look at another woman with longing ... and continue to do so ... you have stepped over the same line.
Do what you wish ... you seem determined to turn scriptures to your advantage. But; on your head be it."
Yet another comment that is running off with assumptions. Where in the article does it talk about married couples having threesomes? Where does it talk about married people ogling and lusting after strangers?
And then you accuse the author of twisting scripture, but it is you that is twisting the author's words.
Why is it that religious people do this kind of rampant assumption-making (almost always coupled with baseless accusation) more than any other type of person I've ever run into?
Here, let me quote something from the article for you:
"you can enjoy pretty much anything else provided it doesn’t offend your conscious [sic]"
There's something you can't twist.
February 28, 2008 8:11 AM
Here are some more quotes from Paul 1 Corinthians 7:8-9 "To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is well for them to remain unmarried as I am. But if they are not practicing self control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to be aflame with passion.
Hebrews 13:4 "Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery."
2 Timothy 2:22 "Run from anything that stimulates youthful lust. Follow anything that makes you want to do right. Pursue faith and love and peace, and enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts."
1 Thessalonians 4:8 "Anyone who refuses to live by these rules is not disobeying human rules but is rejecting God, who gives his Holy Spirit to you."
And Jesus said Matthew 5:27-30 "You have heard that the law of Moses says, 'Do not commit adultery.'But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust in his eye has already committed adultery with her in his heart. So if your eye - even if it is your good eye - causes you to lust, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your hand - even if it is your stronger hand - causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.
If yo are not a Christian I am not holding you accountable to our standards. But for those that claim the name of Jesus, you must accept all of Him not the parts you agree with.
February 28, 2008 8:15 AM
If yo are not a Christian I am not holding you accountable to our standards. But for those that claim the name of Jesus, you must accept all of Him not JUST the parts you agree with.
is what I meant to say.
February 28, 2008 8:16 AM
I've said it before and I'll say it again. If you have to follow all of the ridiculous and unrealistic rules in the Bible to be a good Christian, there are no good Christians. The Bible basically says you're going to hell for being human.
February 28, 2008 8:30 AM
Rhody you are right there are no Good Christians. romans 3:23-24 "since all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God; they are now justified by His grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus,"
There are only Christians not any better than anyone else. But out of our love we respond to His love by trying to live His Word.
I don't understand it all, but I look at it like this, when I was a teenager I didn't understand all of my parents rules but now that I am grown I see the benefit they provided.
February 28, 2008 8:37 AM
When I was a teenager, I understood my parents' rules perfectly. They made sense because there was logic behind them. I do my best to do what's right, but there are enough rules in the Bible (and enough that contradict each other) for me to know that it's silly to even try to follow them all. Follow the rules that make sense, forget about the rest. I'm never going to feel guilty about having sex with the person I love before marriage, and I'm CERTAINLY not going to feel guilty about finding other people attractive. I'm definitely not going to pluck out my eye.
February 28, 2008 8:47 AM
That's fine, but what I'm saying is that Christians have a different standard. I'm not asking you to follow it, understand it, or like it. But as for the original article he is saying that there is nothing biblically wrong with (according to Christian standards) sexual immorality, and that is simply not true. As for following the rules that make sense, who do they need to make sense to in order for me to follow them? You? Me? What we call common sense, because even that can be debated. What standard do we follow to know which rules make sense and which ones don't? The law, I'm sure there are even laws that we each disagree with. So if I am my own guide for morality wouldn't I be fine to have none?
February 28, 2008 11:37 AM
I've got a problem with your logic here. Yes, we are human. Yes, we have desires. Yes, God created sex as a beautiful thing that we should enjoy. Yes, Christ's sacrifice demonstrated the ultimate act of grace that covers our sinful humanity. But none of those facts excuses sin.
Let's say a man pulls out in front of me in traffic, and I'm having a bad day. I'm grumpy. I'm irritable. And, yes, I'm impatient. So, I pull him over, yank him out of the car and proceed to smack him around a little. But instead of repenting, I get back in my car, drive home, stare at myself in the mirror and say three times "I love violence. I love violence. I love violence." Then, happy with myself, I thank God for making me the way I am. No, embracing your sexuality will not offend God...unless, of course, you step outside the confines of the sexuality God Himself created.
Thank you for pointing out that God is a forgiving God and that He wants us to enjoy our lives. Too many old-guard Christians think we need to walk around stoically, not laugh at any jokes, turn our nose up at people who sin and pretend that evil has never been practiced in the name of God.
But, again, none of that gives us carte blanche to indulge in sin of any kind, sexual or not. Because the end of that slippery slope is a bad one.
February 28, 2008 11:45 AM
I can't help but laugh whenever someone compares sex to violence.
February 28, 2008 11:51 PM
"I can't help but laugh whenever someone compares sex to violence."
Candid Christian didn't just equate sex and violence. Candid Christian glossed over how much the Bible itself loves violence.
Read Revelation and tell me about God's love for mankind.
February 29, 2008 8:48 AM
"Candid Christian didn't just equate sex and violence. Candid Christian glossed over how much the Bible itself loves violence."
No what Candid Christian did was point out that sin weather it be sex, violence or whatever separates us from the love of God. And my question to you is how can a book love something? Is there violence in it? Yes, but you are really mislead if you think it advocates it.
Revelation 21:4 He will wipe every tear from their eyes. Death will be no more; mourning and crying and pain will be no more, for the first things have passed away.
God will judge justly, Revelation is only doom and gloom for non-believers and the unfaithful.
February 29, 2008 8:59 AM
I don't think you read the same Bible as everyone else.
February 29, 2008 9:40 AM
"God will judge justly, Revelation is only doom and gloom for non-believers and the unfaithful."
And there you go. See, even YOU love violence as long as it's focused on people who think differently from you.
February 29, 2008 9:41 AM
Well, call it "support" instead of "love" in that last comment.
February 29, 2008 9:50 AM
Did I say that? Did I say that I get joy from the suffering of others? I hate violence as much as anyone else. I would much rather that it not be so, that all the world would believe, as does my God.
February 29, 2008 8:34 PM
Or you could *not* wish violence on those who don't believe in your god.
March 16, 2008 8:08 PM
You Christians crack me up. You're always so anxious to condemn anyone who thinks. The Bible was written for a completely different culture than we live in today by the political leaders of that time and translated by other political leaders of a different time. It was used to control the masses through fear, which is the most effective way to control people. Most Christians haven't even read the entire book, yet are always willing to quote a verse that fits their view. You can find one for anything, including the right to own people and kill your own children. Your Bible needs you to think about the stories and find the metaphorical lessons on life, not to pick which literal words to use and which to abandon. There is no literal reality in a book written by people, and all gods are facets and ways to look at a true divine beyond human understanding.
March 17, 2008 12:42 PM
God clearly creates us as sexual beings, and encourages us to enter into sexual relationships. He also commands us to not commit adultery, defined as any sex outside of the marital relationship, further defined by Jesus as either physical or imagined sex with someone other than our spouses. Sex certainly isn't sinful or dirty inside those parameters. But the stripper (from the article intro) is purposely enticing people to imagine sex with her - which is the same as physical adultery. Nothing wrong with masturbation, unless we're fantisizing about someone other than our spouses while we're doing it, which is adultery.
Come on, folks - with rights come responsibilities, with freedom comes accountability. We have the right and the priviledge to have sex, but inside a marital relationship. God isn't saying there's anything wrong with sex - he just wants us to follow the rules. Just because sex is all good somewhere (inside marriage) doesn't mean it's good everywhere (outside marriage).
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